Mom, 9th post

 The hospice RN was getting to Mom's some time after 10:00 am, it was just Beth & me as Mark had to go home overnight to handle things. I did get scant 8 hrs, but in my own bed always is better, plus CPAP, which I am very used to after 9 years.

HRN (Hospice RN) arrived, assessed. While the alternating pressure pad was ordered this morning, her assessment was that it wouldn't make a difference at this point, and would be very disruptive to Mom. She is good about talking to Mom, even though she remains without any response. She put foam pads over the bed sores, observed the scant urine in the bag, noted her warmth. (The residents nagged for the heat, so now that it's in the 70s the apartments are way too warm, even with the heat turned off and fans in the open windows.) After efficiently going over everything with Mom she turned to me and said, 'It could be any time now, even today. Or it could continue like this for a few more days.' I know this, but the tears came anyway. 

Leaving Beth there I went grocery shopping, then to home & unloaded. Had asked the chaplain to send me Mom's favorite picture of herself that was taken there several years ago for ID. Loaded onto a flash, went to Walgreen's and got several copies including some enlargements, which I want to have at the graveside. And it's a great picture. Also got her will out of the safety deposit box, went for gas. I stopped and bought flowers from a farm stand that always pass on the way to Mom's. Several years ago I started buying her flowers regularly, because it made more sense to give her flowers while she was alive. There aren't any bouquets with a lot of yellow, which she prefers, so I pick another bright one with dahlias, which she likes. She won't be able to see them, but I want to keep the area around her as pleasant as possible. As I get into the car it hits me: I'm buying my mother flowers for the last time while she's alive. 

Back in the apartment with Beth, Mom's breathing is unchanged from before. The aides come in and move her, it's supposed to be every 2 hours but is usually closer to every 3, but she is getting moved. We keep the 'easy listening' station she likes on, which masks the sound of her breathing, which is even and regular at 22-24 breaths/min. She looks as comfortable as one can in the circumstances. 

Beth, as previously mentioned, has done a lot of hospice work, and we agree that it doesn't look likely that Mom will deteriorate tonight. The nurse & aides on duty assure me that they will call me if there is any substantial change, so I can rush over. Beth had wondered if she would be better off in SNF (skilled nursing), which is in same building, and is actually where my grandfather, Mom's dad, died in 1984. But that had been her terror, being down there. The times she was there after surgeries or accidents she invariably got put with a demented roommate, or there was one nearby calling out. She made me promise years ago to do anything necessary to keep her out of there, and I'm keeping my promise. Additionally, she is a favorite on the floor. She's always been friendly with the staff, memorizing their names, and she was very easy for the first 4 years. Many of them stop in to see her now before or after their shifts, and tell me how much they love her there in personal care. 

So, after 10 hours, except for the errands, we leave.

Let's see what tomorrow brings.