Nov 6: Leaving my job, new changes

The last official day of work was Oct 31.  In the Earth-based calendar that is the end of the old year, with Nov 1 being the beginning of a new year.  This follows the seasons changes: spring sprouts new life, summer with the bounty of the Earth, autumn with the harvest and readying for the dark months of rest and recovery, winter a time of death, but also of rest, recovery and gestating before the spring.  The cycles of Nature, the cycles of Life.  So, now I rest and recover, hopefully gaining strength to do more.  While it wasn't intentional when I gave notice Sept 3 it became apparent that the new PA would be good to go by mid-late October, and I liked the synergy with Earth's cycle. 

There have only been two days I would normally have worked, Monday & today, so not much of a change.  It's nice not getting up at 6:30 am, especially since I'm not a morning person.  But there is still so much catching up to do that the days are full, and the massive amount of paperwork/reports to be done for short term disability and getting the SSD (Social Security Disability) filed.  Collecting information, coordinating with multiple physician's offices, finishing one form generates another by the following day..... All necessary.  Hoping to have everything done by next week.  Have last week and this weeks paychecks for the 24 hours, but the following week will only be about 8 hours of left over vacation/sick time.  The three days sick in September messed that up.  So that will leave a 'dry' financial spot for a couple weeks before the short term disability kicks in (STD for short!). 

Some of the office staff took me out tonight for a 'farewell dinner', which was lovely.  Natalie, who has been the MA doing stress tests with me for five years, made a cute little picture book for me of the last days at work.  Linda, the ultrasound tech and very creative person, had several people decorate a sweatshirt for me, which she explained is to be used to keep warm and 'feel like I'm getting hugged by everyone' (sniff!).   Natalie circulated a card with strict instructions that everyone sign just the inside, then found a mat & frame that perfectly fit for display!  They also collected enough money for me to get one of the really nice tablet/e-readers that I've been wanting, complete with case.  (I'm currently taking votes on Nook vs Kindle, if you want to weigh in.  The one with the 'mayday' button is very appealing for a  tech challenged person like me!)  Lots of laughing and memories, actually made it through with dry eyes until the end when Judy, the office manager, got teary.  While I reassured her I'd still be stopping in (did so yesterday) as she said 'it won't be the same', a phrase expressed by everyone else as well. 

So, one volume ends and another begins. Kim & Susan were both texting me positives, but as I told them, I still need to grieve.  As with all of life it has its pros & cons.  Yes, it's for the best and I'm looking forward to less exhaustion, more time and energy to do things not done for years.  But it's not the norm at my age, not what I had thought my life would be at 50, not what my education was for, all my hopes and dreams.  It's still scary and uncertain--two things I hate.  But as my favorite frig magnet says: 'Life is not about how fast you run or how high you climb, but about how well you Bounce!' 

On the prosaic front: I never told you what the new rheumatologist (who is wonderful--thank you, Kim!) wants me to do:  go vegan.  That means absolutely no animal products at all: no meat, no dairy, no eggs.  The one she recommended, Eat to Live by Dr. Joel Fuhrman, also limits grains, oils and (of course) sugar.  There is growing evidence that eliminating all these things can really help with auto-immune disorders.  Kim has been doing it for months and says she feels wonderful.  It's going to be very difficult, so I didn't even try while still working, although decreased my intake of all the above.  Lots of fruits & veggies, plus beans (which I hate!).  Nearly impossible to eat out or at anyone else's, so will not be able to be strict in those circumstances.  (Had French onion soup with cheese, no bread and then gluten free crab cakes tonight!)  If I'm really good it could also mean significant weight loss, which my heart (and clothes!) certainly need.

It's after 11 pm now, so time to go to bed.  I'm trying my best to keep to a schedule, not stay up to 3 am and then sleep until noon.  Zerla & KC help, as they are used to their last feeding before bed.  It's very difficult to ignore two sets of eyes boring into you from 10:30 pm on, the frenzied furry leaping with even the vaguest of movements in the general direction of their bowls.  The hell animals can't communicate; and there is no question as to who has who well trained!

Thanks for checking in,   Laurie