Dec 27: Anniversary & stuff

Today is the one year anniversary of Martha's death. Just tortured myself by re-reading the last few postings during that time. John, Lyle & Emma are at their close friends in the Adirondacks skiing, they'll be there for the next week. This couple also have two kids almost the same age as Lyle & Emma, they've had this annual fun for years and enjoy the skiing and time together. I made a small scrapbook, a celebration on Martha's life, their marriage and kids for John. With all the pictures that were sent to me as per my request when I did the poster boards for the memorial service it seemed silly to not do something more with them and this seemed like the right time. Then I made cards which accordion out, hold about 8 photos, for both of the kids with primarily pictures of them and their mom. I got these three things to the family they are with to save as a surprise for today, so they had something special on the actual anniversary of her death. It also makes me feel a part of the day, something from me to make them smile. The crying is inevitable for all of us.

Christmas day was quiet, my mom is staying with me for a few days. We couldn't go anywhere because she still has to move the knee around frequently and can't tolerate the car for very long, although the knee is coming along nicely. So we were at my house when a call came from an old friend with sad news. Edie Sukup, and her husband Rob, met us when my father sold a house to them 30 years ago. Edie was marketing director of Mademoiselle magazine for years, also with other Conde Nast publications. We've stayed in touch and she really wanted to come out and see this house, but I wanted it to look nicer first. Rob, Edie, Mom and I had lunch together not that long ago. Rob called us at 11:30 that morning to tell us that Edie had suffered a massive stroke on Christmas Eve and died at 2:15 am Christmas Day. Rob said she got up from the living room to go to the kitchen for a glass of water 'and she never made it'. It was very fast, he said his feeling was she was already gone by the time she was on the stretcher leaving the house. The comfort is that Edie hated hospitals, would have hated being compromised and always said she wanted to die quickly. But it stinks.

There is another serious medical issue brewing which I'm not at liberty to discuss, but also piled on to an already difficult time frame. When it rains it pours.

Solstice, however, was lovely. I stayed up the night of the eclipse until almost 1 am and it was just spectacular. Clear, lots of stars, brilliant moon. I woke up at 2:30 and went out to see the eclipse, which was sort of anticlimactic. But at least I witnessed some of it.
Things got crazy for all of December and I've been very tired. Also had a GI bug that was going around the office and lasted off and on for two weeks. Did make a flying trip up to NY to see Emma in Nutcracker, made more poignant by the events of last year when Martha was so determined to see it and it became her last public appearance, also when many people became aware that she was so ill. It was great to see Emma, although we didn't have much time together. John was involved with tearing the set down, which left me having a glorious evening of catching up about everything with Lyle. Adding to the fatigue and stress was my going into the hospital for work and doing rounds. It made it very clear how much I've lost mentally and it was rather overwhelming. On the plus side was that I didn't kill anyone, which is always a good day at work!

This week should be fairly quiet, which will give me a chance to recuperate. As with many people my eating has been horridly unhealthy and getting dressed for work increasingly difficult because so few things fit! I've decided that my New Year's Resolution is one word: Discipline. That applies to my eating, continuing yoga and walking regularly and also to finances.

My wishes to all for a happy and healthy holiday season. I may or may not do an end-of-year review, too overwhelming right now to think about.

Thanks for checking in, Laurie