Dec 27: Anniversary & stuff

Today is the one year anniversary of Martha's death. Just tortured myself by re-reading the last few postings during that time. John, Lyle & Emma are at their close friends in the Adirondacks skiing, they'll be there for the next week. This couple also have two kids almost the same age as Lyle & Emma, they've had this annual fun for years and enjoy the skiing and time together. I made a small scrapbook, a celebration on Martha's life, their marriage and kids for John. With all the pictures that were sent to me as per my request when I did the poster boards for the memorial service it seemed silly to not do something more with them and this seemed like the right time. Then I made cards which accordion out, hold about 8 photos, for both of the kids with primarily pictures of them and their mom. I got these three things to the family they are with to save as a surprise for today, so they had something special on the actual anniversary of her death. It also makes me feel a part of the day, something from me to make them smile. The crying is inevitable for all of us.

Christmas day was quiet, my mom is staying with me for a few days. We couldn't go anywhere because she still has to move the knee around frequently and can't tolerate the car for very long, although the knee is coming along nicely. So we were at my house when a call came from an old friend with sad news. Edie Sukup, and her husband Rob, met us when my father sold a house to them 30 years ago. Edie was marketing director of Mademoiselle magazine for years, also with other Conde Nast publications. We've stayed in touch and she really wanted to come out and see this house, but I wanted it to look nicer first. Rob, Edie, Mom and I had lunch together not that long ago. Rob called us at 11:30 that morning to tell us that Edie had suffered a massive stroke on Christmas Eve and died at 2:15 am Christmas Day. Rob said she got up from the living room to go to the kitchen for a glass of water 'and she never made it'. It was very fast, he said his feeling was she was already gone by the time she was on the stretcher leaving the house. The comfort is that Edie hated hospitals, would have hated being compromised and always said she wanted to die quickly. But it stinks.

There is another serious medical issue brewing which I'm not at liberty to discuss, but also piled on to an already difficult time frame. When it rains it pours.

Solstice, however, was lovely. I stayed up the night of the eclipse until almost 1 am and it was just spectacular. Clear, lots of stars, brilliant moon. I woke up at 2:30 and went out to see the eclipse, which was sort of anticlimactic. But at least I witnessed some of it.
Things got crazy for all of December and I've been very tired. Also had a GI bug that was going around the office and lasted off and on for two weeks. Did make a flying trip up to NY to see Emma in Nutcracker, made more poignant by the events of last year when Martha was so determined to see it and it became her last public appearance, also when many people became aware that she was so ill. It was great to see Emma, although we didn't have much time together. John was involved with tearing the set down, which left me having a glorious evening of catching up about everything with Lyle. Adding to the fatigue and stress was my going into the hospital for work and doing rounds. It made it very clear how much I've lost mentally and it was rather overwhelming. On the plus side was that I didn't kill anyone, which is always a good day at work!

This week should be fairly quiet, which will give me a chance to recuperate. As with many people my eating has been horridly unhealthy and getting dressed for work increasingly difficult because so few things fit! I've decided that my New Year's Resolution is one word: Discipline. That applies to my eating, continuing yoga and walking regularly and also to finances.

My wishes to all for a happy and healthy holiday season. I may or may not do an end-of-year review, too overwhelming right now to think about.

Thanks for checking in, Laurie

Dec 3: Catching up

Oops.....long time.

-Mom is doing great. She is four weeks out from her knee replacement and walking very well. She's been back in her apartment for almost two weeks, now mostly walking with just a 4-prong cane. The debate now will be whether or not to get the other knee done. It may improve with strain off of it, we'll have to see.

-Heart Walk was a mixed success. From the beginning I was more short of breath than expected, probably because of talking for two hours before and during! We needed to take a few short cuts, but I did finish it--kinda. Didn't officially walk across the finish line as needed the bathroom. Several people from work were there and even Joanne came down (grumbling the whole time, but she was there!). I think you can still donate.

-Going back and forth to Doylestown almost every day I didn't work to see Mom really sucked a lot out of me. A real lot. Just recovering.

-Doing yoga. It's amazing how many muscles one can stretch! It's harder than you might expect to tell the difference between a muscle that is complaining because it hasn't moved like that in years (or ever!) versus when it's painful because too much strain is put on an operated part. Obviously my waist, hips and legs are not the issues here. It's the movement of the chest, shoulders and arms that get a little dicey. Now I need to have the discipline to do it other days of the week.

-Windows still not in.

-Squirrel population in P'ville down by ten!

-New tenant working out, still smoothing over some rough patches. But the fact that she doesn't have a felony record and the county pays the majority of her rent like clockwork are two MAJOR pluses!

-Today was the Red Cross Blood Drive at my Fellowship. With a lot of reluctance because of the increased demands on my schedule I agreed to be the coordinator. No one was willing to take it on and it would have been canceled, especially bad at a time of year when demand is increased and donations generally down. Discovered Red Cross is not the well-oiled machine you might expect. Lots of problems. But after a rocky start it went terrifically well with the help of many people from the congregation. We got 45 units of blood, which is really good. I wanted so much to donate back at least twice the amount received in my transfusions, but was never healthy enough. Then, of course, got the mechanical valve and will be on blood thinners for life, making me ineligible to ever donate. It has given me a tremendous satisfaction to 'give back', even indirectly, the blood that was given to me which saved my life. I'm feeling particularly warm and fuzzy at the moment!

-And, the holidays. Every year I swear to be better prepared, not get caught up in everything and go nuts. And every year I fail. Sigh. Good luck to all the rest of you probably going through the same thing!

Thanks for checking in, Laurie