Feb 24: the practicalities of life
I didn't realize how long it had been since my last 'novelette' long posting. It took a lot out of me, as you might imagine. Thank you Deneen, again, for reminding me why doing this is important, although several others communicate in other ways.
The weather is certainly bringing everyone down, and I've just hibernated through much of February. I wish I could say that there has been lots of progress made with neatening up, coping with paperwork and task accomplishments, but that would be lying. Sadly, and against what my hope was, I've fallen into a pattern demonstrated through my recoveries: staying up too late doing nothing productive, sleeping too late into the day and justifying doing nothing far too often with 'ehh, I'll do it tomorrow....' (Of note is that apparently my kitties are much better behaved than most: no one wakes me up! They don't start complaining unless it's about 10am, which is rare: usual time is about 9am. KC is the loudest complainer, but to give him credit he waits until I actually sit up in bed before letting me know his distress!) I've attempted to set myself a schedule, complete with writing time, but haven't disciplined myself to sticking to it. Obviously this is something that only I can do for myself.
The big announcement is that my long term disability (LTD) was approved. This turned out to be much more stressful than anticipated, but it seems that a lot of the information given to me by Assurant was incorrect. There was a five day period over last weekend where my case was under review, and while the medical issues were not being questioned my eligibility regarding my worked hours was an issue. This was particularly aggravating because in my typical OCD/anal-retentive fashion of covering all the bases I had discussed all this with the rep from the company last March, when I first started coming to terms with no longer being able to work. She assured me that the amount I was insured for, 60% of my salary, was a guarantee, regardless of what my schedule was currently or in the future. So I decided to work for several more months, although decreased my hours some. Apparently that could have threatened the whole deal. Fortunately, my on call hours ended up saving the day, pushing my average per week to 34 hours. The Universe was taking care of me, because in mid-October, in the last few weeks I worked, the on call was taken away due to political reasons at one of the hospitals, which means if I hadn't left then I would have been totally screwed. Now, at least, I know what amount I'll be working with until turning 65, when the policy expires.
This is not the same as Social Security Disability (SSD), which was the prior reference in having been turned down. I will start the appeal process for that within the next month and am still holding out hope I can do it without spending money on a lawyer, although more and more people tell me it's inevitable. While this amount will be less than the LTD policy SSD is also taxed less; the LTD policy is 100% taxable. The good news is that after the SSD is approved and those checks start coming the LTD policy makes up the difference between SSDs amount and the LTD amount, which will end up giving me more money because of the taxes. Find this confusing? Now you know what I was going through in the months leading up to my giving notice! In addition to the taxes, the other reason for getting on SSD is that in 2 years I'll be eligible for SSI (Medicare Disability), which should cost substantially less than the ~$800 I'm currently paying to COBRA my health insurance. Could I be paying less with the new Affordable Care Act? Probably, but considering my health and the mess that implementing that has been I wasn't taking any chances, deciding it was better to pay more for a year or more and have a guaranteed plan. Honestly, I don't know how stupid people get through all this and express my gratitude regularly for having a functioning brain. While I'm starting to wonder if being able to keep the house is a long-term practical issue, it is necessary right now: the health insurance is covered by the rental income.
My diet continues as a strict vegetarian/liberal vegan: outside of a little 1/2 & 1/2 in my coffee I eat 100% vegan at home, but am relaxed when eating out. Usually I settle for vegetarian: eggs & cheese, as the gluten free already restricts me. Yesterday I 'caved' and had calamari and then some shrimp & lobster on a portabella at a restaurant, the first time since my pre-birthday splurge of a hamburger with blue cheese and bacon that I've eaten anything previously alive. Despite this my weight is still up, probably because of the damn prednisone that is still required. At least I'm not gaining, and hope when the weather improves that I'll be able to walk again. Right now it's been so damn cold I can't even clear off the treadmill on the porch to walk.
Cooking & shopping are major expenditures of time, which is to be expected with a major shift in eating plans. I've turned into a regular Betty Crocker, apron and all, several times a week. Once I start settling on some regular recipes it should get easier. Gratitude again for my friends Kim & Rick, who started vegan a few months before me due to her autoimmune issues. They have been wonderful sources of information; as well as the internet. It is amazing the number of blogs that come up when you put in 'gluten free vegan recipes'. It definitely has made the whole process much more do-able, although it has regularly reinforced my decision that it could not have been done before stopping work as it is very labor intensive.
I've picked up more things at Fellowship. Was asked to take on Denominations Connections, which is keeping the congregation involved with other UU events; a lot of this can be done on the computer from home. I'm also going to be co-facilitating a 6 week course called 'Cakes for the Queen of Heaven' which explores the impact of a patriarchal society on women, exploring the roots of the matriarchal society that existed for thousands of years before Judaism & Christianity. It's wonderful introducing women to the concept of feminine Divinity after Western civilization has decreed for years that there is only a male God.
Kitty update: Chester is starting to slow down as he is about to turn 13 yo. While not welcoming to guests he does seem to be less vicious. With my being home more he has changed some of his patterns, the most notable is he asks to be picked up during my more leisurely breakfast/coffee time; he crawls up around my neck and drapes himself there, sometimes staying for half an hour, or until I have to start moving around. He always sleeps on top of me, settling between my legs, although occasionally I kick him off because my left hip hurts too much. Zerla has been on a diet, several months ago she started crying when she was walking, probably due to arthritis setting into her repeatedly repaired knees, she's now 11 yo. While she has not liked the food restriction she is moving much more easily now and her coat is much softer--probably because she can reach it more easily to groom. She now sleeps where Tabitha used to: curled up right next to me on my right side, usually still there in the mornings when we have quality ear scratching/purring time. KC has also been put on a diet and is now a leaner handsome boy, he is now coming up on the couch with me more regularly. Tabitha has been very happy with my Mom for the last 2 1/2 years, but she was recently diagnosed with cancer, not a total surprise as she is 17 years old. She is still comfortable and happy, as long as she remains so there will be no treatments.
Well, I've put off things for long enough today. Need to go get blood work done before my repeatedly rescheduled rheumatology and cardiology appointments on Wednesday. It has been wonderful to be able to not bat an eye at cancelling with bad weather and have an open schedule to make other appointments. As is being shown on the news lately, and all of you certainly know, driving the pothole-ridden streets is like an obstacle course, and I wince regularly for the car's suspension system.
There is a crystal clear blue sky outside. Chester has been right next to the computer this whole time, not sure if it has been to get his ears scratched or the sunbeam he is happily basking in, I suspect the latter!
Thanks for checking in, Laurie
The weather is certainly bringing everyone down, and I've just hibernated through much of February. I wish I could say that there has been lots of progress made with neatening up, coping with paperwork and task accomplishments, but that would be lying. Sadly, and against what my hope was, I've fallen into a pattern demonstrated through my recoveries: staying up too late doing nothing productive, sleeping too late into the day and justifying doing nothing far too often with 'ehh, I'll do it tomorrow....' (Of note is that apparently my kitties are much better behaved than most: no one wakes me up! They don't start complaining unless it's about 10am, which is rare: usual time is about 9am. KC is the loudest complainer, but to give him credit he waits until I actually sit up in bed before letting me know his distress!) I've attempted to set myself a schedule, complete with writing time, but haven't disciplined myself to sticking to it. Obviously this is something that only I can do for myself.
The big announcement is that my long term disability (LTD) was approved. This turned out to be much more stressful than anticipated, but it seems that a lot of the information given to me by Assurant was incorrect. There was a five day period over last weekend where my case was under review, and while the medical issues were not being questioned my eligibility regarding my worked hours was an issue. This was particularly aggravating because in my typical OCD/anal-retentive fashion of covering all the bases I had discussed all this with the rep from the company last March, when I first started coming to terms with no longer being able to work. She assured me that the amount I was insured for, 60% of my salary, was a guarantee, regardless of what my schedule was currently or in the future. So I decided to work for several more months, although decreased my hours some. Apparently that could have threatened the whole deal. Fortunately, my on call hours ended up saving the day, pushing my average per week to 34 hours. The Universe was taking care of me, because in mid-October, in the last few weeks I worked, the on call was taken away due to political reasons at one of the hospitals, which means if I hadn't left then I would have been totally screwed. Now, at least, I know what amount I'll be working with until turning 65, when the policy expires.
This is not the same as Social Security Disability (SSD), which was the prior reference in having been turned down. I will start the appeal process for that within the next month and am still holding out hope I can do it without spending money on a lawyer, although more and more people tell me it's inevitable. While this amount will be less than the LTD policy SSD is also taxed less; the LTD policy is 100% taxable. The good news is that after the SSD is approved and those checks start coming the LTD policy makes up the difference between SSDs amount and the LTD amount, which will end up giving me more money because of the taxes. Find this confusing? Now you know what I was going through in the months leading up to my giving notice! In addition to the taxes, the other reason for getting on SSD is that in 2 years I'll be eligible for SSI (Medicare Disability), which should cost substantially less than the ~$800 I'm currently paying to COBRA my health insurance. Could I be paying less with the new Affordable Care Act? Probably, but considering my health and the mess that implementing that has been I wasn't taking any chances, deciding it was better to pay more for a year or more and have a guaranteed plan. Honestly, I don't know how stupid people get through all this and express my gratitude regularly for having a functioning brain. While I'm starting to wonder if being able to keep the house is a long-term practical issue, it is necessary right now: the health insurance is covered by the rental income.
My diet continues as a strict vegetarian/liberal vegan: outside of a little 1/2 & 1/2 in my coffee I eat 100% vegan at home, but am relaxed when eating out. Usually I settle for vegetarian: eggs & cheese, as the gluten free already restricts me. Yesterday I 'caved' and had calamari and then some shrimp & lobster on a portabella at a restaurant, the first time since my pre-birthday splurge of a hamburger with blue cheese and bacon that I've eaten anything previously alive. Despite this my weight is still up, probably because of the damn prednisone that is still required. At least I'm not gaining, and hope when the weather improves that I'll be able to walk again. Right now it's been so damn cold I can't even clear off the treadmill on the porch to walk.
Cooking & shopping are major expenditures of time, which is to be expected with a major shift in eating plans. I've turned into a regular Betty Crocker, apron and all, several times a week. Once I start settling on some regular recipes it should get easier. Gratitude again for my friends Kim & Rick, who started vegan a few months before me due to her autoimmune issues. They have been wonderful sources of information; as well as the internet. It is amazing the number of blogs that come up when you put in 'gluten free vegan recipes'. It definitely has made the whole process much more do-able, although it has regularly reinforced my decision that it could not have been done before stopping work as it is very labor intensive.
I've picked up more things at Fellowship. Was asked to take on Denominations Connections, which is keeping the congregation involved with other UU events; a lot of this can be done on the computer from home. I'm also going to be co-facilitating a 6 week course called 'Cakes for the Queen of Heaven' which explores the impact of a patriarchal society on women, exploring the roots of the matriarchal society that existed for thousands of years before Judaism & Christianity. It's wonderful introducing women to the concept of feminine Divinity after Western civilization has decreed for years that there is only a male God.
Kitty update: Chester is starting to slow down as he is about to turn 13 yo. While not welcoming to guests he does seem to be less vicious. With my being home more he has changed some of his patterns, the most notable is he asks to be picked up during my more leisurely breakfast/coffee time; he crawls up around my neck and drapes himself there, sometimes staying for half an hour, or until I have to start moving around. He always sleeps on top of me, settling between my legs, although occasionally I kick him off because my left hip hurts too much. Zerla has been on a diet, several months ago she started crying when she was walking, probably due to arthritis setting into her repeatedly repaired knees, she's now 11 yo. While she has not liked the food restriction she is moving much more easily now and her coat is much softer--probably because she can reach it more easily to groom. She now sleeps where Tabitha used to: curled up right next to me on my right side, usually still there in the mornings when we have quality ear scratching/purring time. KC has also been put on a diet and is now a leaner handsome boy, he is now coming up on the couch with me more regularly. Tabitha has been very happy with my Mom for the last 2 1/2 years, but she was recently diagnosed with cancer, not a total surprise as she is 17 years old. She is still comfortable and happy, as long as she remains so there will be no treatments.
Well, I've put off things for long enough today. Need to go get blood work done before my repeatedly rescheduled rheumatology and cardiology appointments on Wednesday. It has been wonderful to be able to not bat an eye at cancelling with bad weather and have an open schedule to make other appointments. As is being shown on the news lately, and all of you certainly know, driving the pothole-ridden streets is like an obstacle course, and I wince regularly for the car's suspension system.
There is a crystal clear blue sky outside. Chester has been right next to the computer this whole time, not sure if it has been to get his ears scratched or the sunbeam he is happily basking in, I suspect the latter!
Thanks for checking in, Laurie
posted by Laurie @ 12:35 PM
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