The Heroes of Sept 11: My reflection at Fellowship on the 10 year anniversary

On September 11, 2001 a total of 2,893 people, excluding the high-jackers, died in the World Trade Center. 2,482 of those people were in the wrong place at the wrong time. They were tragic victims, people like any of us, who went to work that day with the expectation of returning to their homes and families that night, but instead perished in the attacks on our country.

There were 411 other people from New York killed that day who fall into a different category than victim: the heroes from emergency services who chose to rush into the place where everyone else with any sense was racing to get out of.

It takes a special type of person to run into a burning building. You have to push aside your fear, defy every survival instinct that you have, to deliberately place yourself in circumstances that could kill you as you try to save another. Yet that’s exactly what those 411 brave men and women did. Not just because it was their job and they had to: many firefighters already off shift choose to jump on a truck instead of leave, or responded to the Towers even though they were off duty. As the situation deteriorated they sensed they weren’t coming back out: before entering many firefighters received quick absolutions from two Catholic priests, and then they went into the burning towers.

On that horrible day FDNY lost 340 firefighters, 2 paramedics & a much loved FDNY priest. NYPD lost 23 officers, Port Authority PD lost 37 plus a K-9 officer. Eight EMTs & paramedics from private or hospital based ambulances also died. They died in the line of duty, attempting to save others. Their deaths account for 15% of the casualties—a high number for a group who deliberately chose to put themselves in danger. There are many stories of their heroism that day. They are the embodiment of the verse from the Talmud “whoever saves a life it is as if he saved the entire world.”

More of these brave men and women continue to die every day, suffering from the consequences of their tireless work at the destroyed WTC site. They also deserve our praise and recognition, their sacrifice for the greater good.

Ordinary people also gave up their lives for others as the Towers collapsed. There are many stories of co-workers, or even strangers, staying with someone who was injured or moved slowly, giving up their own chance to escape. We will never know how many people made decisions in those last moments that cost them their lives because they were caring or comforting another. They are the unknown heroes.

Webster defines a hero as : ‘A person of distinguished valor or enterprise in danger…a prominent or central personage in any remarkable action or event…’ The passengers and crew of Flight 93 personify this definition. They learned of the other attacks from cell phone conversations to their loved ones, they knew their plane would be used to take more lives, and rather than sit passively, or hope for a last-second rescue, they collectively took matters into their own hands, knowingly sacrificed themselves to prevent their plane from being used as yet another missile. They were the first Americans to defend their country on that terrible day, fulfilling a verse from John 15: “Greater love has no man than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.”


Let us pause a moment to recognize the sacrifice of these Heroes of 9/11.

September 11, 2011

Ten years. In some ways it feels like just a few months ago, in others like it was a couple lifetimes. It's hard to remember now our naivete, or perhaps hubris, in thinking we were indestructible before that horrible day. And yet the pain is so fresh in so many ways. 
 

For the last several years I've posted on this date, although I did miss one during the 'sick years', and of course, this wasn't begun until 2006. BuxMont is doing a special memorial service, which is wonderful. I think that's the right thing to do, especially on a tenth anniversary. Our minister asked me to be Worship Associate and I'm giving a five minute 'reflection' and have titled it "The Heroes".

It  is a wonderful thing that at last we are recognizing this day after the death of bin Ladin. While I don't believe in the Biblical hell, it is certainly my wish that wherever or whoever he is now that he is suffering beyond anything we could imagine. It doesn't make it right, it doesn't change history, but it's nice that bastard is no longer among the living. I wish that it hadn't been such a quick death, that he had suffered more.
 

It's sad to me that so many things haven't changed. Thousands more brave Americans are dead, tens of thousands injured with many of them critically and permanently affected. We're still at war. We're still threatened. Al Queda is still in existence. And yet life goes on. We still have our daily joys and sorrows. It's a stark reminder that no matter what happens, no matter what horror occurs, all that you leave behind in this world is the love or hate that you created.
 

Here's to love. Laurie

In Memoriam

To all those lost at WTC & The Pentagon

To the brave passengers and crew of Flight 93

who were the first Americans to fight back against the terrorists

To those who knowingly made the ultimate sacrifice

FDNY, NYPD & PAPD

and to those whose efforts then are leading to their deaths now

WE WILL NEVER FORGET

Sept 6: Sometimes life really sucks

My friend Carol, the pianist at BuxMont, is a regular reader and frequent commentor here. Even if she doesn't comment she lets me know she's still reading. No matter what is going on, no matter who is talking with either one of us, the service, for us, isn't complete unless we hug. She even got me a wheelchair to use at Fellowship for the upcoming Blood Drive.

Early this morning Carol suffered a hemorrhagic stroke. When our minister saw her this morning in ICU he said she managed to say her own name, but is paralyzed on the left side. She has high blood pressure, but is only 51 years old. The outcome will not be known for several days, much less whether there is a rehab potential.

She's been out of work and my suspicion is that she doesn't have insurance.

Please include Carol in your thoughts and prayers. Laurie

Sept 4: Problem with posting

Couldn't get that last one to publish, finally worked.

Sept 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah: more drama

It could be a LOT worse. Conversely, it could be a lot better as well....

So things are going along nicely, getting more and more excited about the trip. The woman who was staying the extra days with me in Turkey was coming up with spiffy (although expensive) travel ideas and I was trying to rein her in with the recognition that I was going to be fairly tired by then. I'd just bought some clothes to round out what I had already (unfortunately, needing new things since I've kept rounded out...), making big use of the Border's going out of business sale to get more books, etc. And then there was last Thursday at work....

One of those things done hundreds, if not thousands, of times: I got up from my chair to cross over the room to the patient on the table, but this time I didn't lift my left foot up quite high enough and it whacked into the end of the treadmill, audible to the other two people in the room. It didn't really hurt that badly, but a few hours later it was hugely swollen. Cancelled going to yoga, stayed on the couch with ice for a few hours, but then wanted to move things around in the basement in case there was flooding from Irene, which was due to hit on Saturday. The foot started hurting more and more, and by bedtime I had to face it: more was wrong than just a bad bruise.

Last Friday I woke, went on my butt downstairs and got the boot cast and a cane. Called for an emergency appointment at the podiatrist who had seen me in 2009 with the stress fractures. Xray showed a fracture at the base (end closer to ankle) of the 4th metatarsal. The doctor remarked, "This would look a whole lot worse on an MRI", which, of course, can't be done with the large amount of metal in my chest. We agreed that this needed to be treated aggressively: same foot, same area as before, known thin bones (osteopenia), prolonged healing (over two years) from the stress fractures. I said a week out from work, she looked at me sternly and said minimum two, probably three. Then she threatened me with any weight on the foot displacing the fracture, especially with my history, and then needing surgery. Not only is any surgery terrifying with coumadin, but this would probably need pinning, which means open wounds = higher possibility of infection getting into bloodstream >>> infection on mechanical valve &....let's not go there.

"What about the trip?", already knowing the answer. She made a face and said "Eight weeks before leaving, probably. Six weeks, probably not. Five weeks, your history, no way." I was crying in the car while calling the office manager I'd be out for 2-3 weeks. All from not lifting my foot up another inch. (In my defense, I'd told the bosses 2 years ago after new equipment that the room arrangement was bad and someone was going to get hurt, but they didn't want to change anything.) Just when I was feeling so much better and stronger, celebrating my survival and then another whammo. Who's your favorite whack-a-mole?

Surprisingly, my being upset only lasted 1-2 hours. Having a direct comparison, I'm SO much better off than when this happened two and a half years ago. The benefit of the same foot was already having the boot cast: in three sizes, all of which had to be paid for out-of-pocket. Last time it took months before the stress fractures were diagnosed, so it was not treated as aggressively by the doctors or me. That certainly added onto the recovery time since during the initial healing time I was still bearing weight on it. So not only is it better that it was immediately diagnosed and the fracture seen on X-ray, but the body actually responds with more cellular activity to a break through the bone than a stress fracture which, since it's internal to the bone doesn't alert the body's healing system. I also know far more people in the area for support than I did before, and my overall health is dramatically better: big difference between being a year and a half out from three heart surgeries and being four years out.

Does this mean it isn't upsetting? Of course not. But, in the larger scheme of things it isn't horrible. In my world of comparing problems: it ain't another heart surgery.

Losing out on the trip--somewhat bigger deal. This was a one-shot trip with the history professor as he moves towards retirement, and it's rare to have a Greece-Turkey trip that isn't done by sea, which means you miss out on all the great stuff inland. And since Ken knows the archaeologists working on the Parthenon there was a really good chance of getting inside, which almost no one manages. However, this was placing a major strain on my finances, which makes me very nervous. Of course I have trip insurance, so hopefully I'll only be out ~$500, of which $320 was for the insurance. The rest was books and some early travel purchases, which can be used another time. And I hadn't even opened the clothes that I ordered, so can easily be returned.

So I'm actually fairly prosaic. It sucks, wish it hadn't have happened, but it does have some significant benefits financially long-term. And seeing the sights in Turkey in those additional four days was getting pretty expensive, there will probably be another tour that will cost less. And maybe I'll have someone to travel with?

It's been eight days at home now, and if there's one thing I've got down to a science it's recuperating at home. Lots of books, got some dvds at Border's sale, already had some, treating myself to some more on eBay, currently getting free HBO/Cinemax, computer, phone, huge stacks of medical and other magazines that need to be read (Vanity Fair, National Geo, Archeology, Smithsonian...SUCH a history nerd!).

Connected again with VFCC (Valley Forge Christian College) and had the nicest girl over last night and today helping out, all done at minimal cost. I've sent Tabitha to my Mom's: too much to deal with and too much going back and forth in the house to separate her, clean out the litter boxes more than daily, and she peed again the other night leading me to have to strip bed, wash and re-make the next day, meaning on my foot for too long. Mom's agreed to keep Tabitha for the duration, at least five weeks, and my hope is that she will be so happy being an only cat that her bladder will completely heal and she won't have the problem. She's a very good guest, has been at Mom's before, and while Mom claims to perfectly happy without a cat she may not mind if Tabitha's staying there stretches out a bit....

My biggest concern now is that the surface over the break is exquisitely tender. It's not that the pain is all that bad, it isn't, but it's definitely swollen over the known break and what I suspect may be an additional crack in fifth metatarsal. Chances are it's a bruised bone(s), especially with my blood so thin. There isn't anything else to do, time even more than rest takes care of that, but it doesn't feel much better after a week. Patience, I know. Now being even stricter about staying off foot: rolling office chair now upstairs, and I'm now the proud renter of a 'roll-a-bout', which is like a little wheelchair for the left lower leg (hard to describe, look up if you're really curious). It doesn't do corners well, a problem in this house, but it keeps all pressure off the foot and that's the key. I will not even be stepping out of the house for another week, then have three days in a row with stuff (doctor's appointment, blood drive, 9/11 service), but then another week at home before going back to work. At this point I'm figuring on just taking the vacation time as it's already scheduled and other people changed their schedules to accommodate. My office has a 'use it or lose it' policy, so it can't be rolled into another year. So then another two weeks of rest, which will be at the six and seven week marks when it still needs to be pampered.

Coping now with paperwork: workman's comp (although office manager insisted it would be short-term disability and a week lost before she saw the light) and the travel insurance stuff. Today, with help, I've consolidated: moved my computer and active office/paperwork over to the kitchen table, so several steps saved not going back and forth to the dining area and can still see TV.

My hope is this will be a boring and steady return to normal. Healing prayers and wishes, as always, appreciated.

Thanks for checking in, Laurie