July 15: Meditation in the forest

The second Thursday of the month has become my favorite as that is ''Mindful Meditation" night with Gael, my fabulous yoga and lots-of-other-nifty-things instructor. She does a guided meditation which is terrific, although I was less relaxed than usual because of being on call.

Meditation, from my understanding of Gael's explanation, is meant to get you to the restful state of being 'between thoughts'. You empty your mind and it becomes calm, which creates peace in your body. This mindful resting is as necessary for your mind's function as sleep is for the body. It allows you to be in better connection with your body and, for many, their spirits/souls as well. There are many different styles and techniques, but they are all trying to get you to a similar state of having the brain free from thought for a period of time. (There are many people that seem to be in this state constantly, but....)

My problem, as I voiced last night, is not being able to get my brain to stop thinking. It's an endless stream: to-do list, trivia, what or who is bugging me. I try to let those thoughts just flow through, to 'acknowledge and dismiss' them (a popular phrase in training), but they just keep coming. This is a very common problem and is, as Gael pointed out, the reason it's called the 'practice' of yoga, because it does in fact take practice. Having a guided meditation gives me something to focus on, but it makes me feel like I'm cheating because it's concentrating on her voice and imagery, not being totally thought-free.

Today's weather was the perfect combination for me to take my favorite hike in VF Park. Almost no humidity, temperature not above the mid-80s and no recent rain to make the trails too slippery. It's hard to find that combination on a day that I'm not working, but also with no specific plans or appointments as well. While I did get a later start than planned, wanting to go before the heat rose, at least I was pulling in the parking lot a little before noon. Water bottle strapped on, sunglasses hanging from hat strap, long shorts and sneakers: terrifically practical, although not fashionable (or sexy--maybe this is contributing to my lack of dates!)

The trail I follow is a little over 3.5 miles, up and down the mountain with a nice flat part along the stream. It's entirely under the trees, meaning no worry about too much sun exposure. It's a work out and takes me about 2 hours, which indicates my slow, yet steady, pace with several planned rests either on well-placed benches or tree stumps. Most people probably do it in about an hour, but most of them haven't had three heart surgeries in the last few years. I passed about 15 people: several couples, two ladies on horseback, one woman striding along with her earphones firmly in place, at least three people either texting or yakking on the phone. For me, listening to the forest sounds is part of the experience, so this makes no sense to me at all.

As I walk in my slow, deliberate pace it gives me a chance to look around, experience and meld with nature, not merely exercise. A lot of attention is on foot placement, concentrating on not falling or twisting an ankle, but there is a constant stream of noise in the background. I listen to the bird's songs and chirps, the amazingly loud sound a robin makes hopping on the forest floor, the sound of cicada's whose noise comes rolling over me just like making 'the wave' in a stadium. When I sit it gives me a chance to feel the slight breeze, watch the way the leaves bounce on the end of gently swaying branches, see the change in the dappling of sunshine and how it highlights different patterns of leaves and twigs and moss on the ground. Spider webs are alternately hidden and exposed as little puffs of wind go by and they catch the sun peeking through, shimmering the strands. Chipmunks scamper up and down trees, coming closer as I quietly sit, butterflies flutter like dancing sprites in and out of sun and shadow.

At some point in all of this I realize that there hasn't been another thought through my brain: no to-do list, no trivia, no problems, no angst. My concentration is entirely on the often overlooked minutia that surrounds me, the web of life that ebbs and flows regardless of the humans that intrude. My brain is at rest, in a space between thoughts, and I am totally relaxed and at peace.

It's my hope that at some point I will be able to meditate without having my brain distract me, but having this experience every once in a while reminds me of the goal. Perhaps when I sit down tonight, in front of my candle, I'll be able to recall these sights and sounds and smells, and return again to the marvelous state of being 'between thoughts'.

Thanks for checking in, Laurie