March 30: still nothing profound

As the title says..... But I want to get back in the habit of writing to you guys, or at least keep writing. While I'm spectacularly good at some areas of self-discipline, there are others that are sorely lacking. If I can get some control over one, maybe the others will follow?

Scare with Tabitha, my oldest cat at 14. She had an isolated seizure years ago that didn't seem to have a cause. Last week a woke on a Tuesday morning, a day that I don't work, to find cat urine where she sleeps on my bed next to me. If you've ever smelled that odor you know how pungent and just plain nasty it is. On my bedspread and down comfortor, waiting to see if can be washed out after having stuff used to de-stink the litterbox on it. Anyway, my suspicion is that she had another seizure and lost control of her bladder. Ironically, after missing last year's regular appointments both she and Chester were scheduled that morning. Turns out she has a urinary infection, but probably had the seizure aggravated by UTI. She's on antibiotics now and seems fine, although her breath is horrid from the long-standing tartar buildup on her teeth that will need to be addressed soon.

This made me realize that sooner or later there will be one less cat, then another, then another..... And so life goes. Part of accepting a pet into your life is with the understanding that you will outlive them and have to cope with that loss. Anyone who has shared themselves with a wonderful critter knows that nothing else in the world takes the place of the feeling of unconditional love and acceptance they provide. Especially being single, childless and rather disconnected at times, these cats have been the one consistent good part of my life. As mentioned when Zerla got sick, they have been my comfort throughout all this. Each of them is different and gives me something unique of themselves. From a practical standpoint it doesn't make sense to have four cats: vet bills for one, plus finding help when I go away to take care of them, plus the fur that no matter how much cleaning is done still pervades every corner of my house and every stitch of my clothes! Yet there is something so comforting in my dark times to have the four of them clustered around and on me, giving me the warmth and love of their fuzzy selves that helps me more than virtually anything else. But for now all four are with me.

Right now Zerla and KC are on the dining room table which is where the laptop is, although that is most likely due to the proximity of the food bowls than anything else! They greet me at the door after work, keep me company on the sofa, cuddle with me in bed. So the idea of any of them being gone is just too much to contemplate.

Had to work in the hospital Monday morning as well as this morning. Much more tired than usual, haven't accomplished much tonight--although ate more than I should have! Tomorrow should be an easier day just in the office, followed by my usual three day weekend. Last weekend I was uber social, so really want to chill this weekend. Cousin Susan and her daughter Emily came for a quick overnight stay Friday, which was lots of fun. After they left Kim & Rick came over and hung out for several hours; the good news that both of them have jobs but the bad news is that they are too tired or working overtime so we don't see each other that much. Sunday went to BuxMont, followed by lunch with friends Martha and Ray with homemade from scratch soup.

The other thing that had been preoccupying me was doing another presentation at BuxMont. My topic was the loss of the Goddess religion and it's negative effects on women for thousands of years, also contributing to the destruction of Earth. Not for those who look at the Bible as the unquestionable word of God, but for others: www.buxmontuu.org then services, then past services, mine titled 'It's not Eve's Fault'. Had very good feedback.

OK, have to try and counteract too much sugar and get ready for bed, thanks for checking in. Laurie

March 16: catching up

The computer issue took almost three weeks to resolve, ending with cousin Fernando helping me find a refurbished Dell laptop. It's a tad touchy, I always seem to be underlining or italicizing stuff that wasn't intended. It went down right before four hours of lectures were due, which was something of a pain. Fortunately I'd updated those lessons in 2010, so just used those presentations without the usual yearly tweaking. Thankfully there was no loss of any information as it ended up being the motherboard and not affecting memory when the old laptop crashed, but it certainly teaches a lesson about remembering to back-up more frequently.

Of course during that time of no computer there were plenty of ideas coming in and out of my head, which didn't get written down. If they were worth anything then they will return at some point.

In terms of events the main thing was the repeated flooding of the tenant's shower into my bedroom. While on the phone with a nurse, admitting a patient on a Saturday afternoon, I suddenly heard a strange sound where there shouldn't be one--the bedroom. Coming around the corner I was treated to a rather pretty display of water cascading from around the ceiling light and a few cracks, pouring onto my bed and floor. The nurse was treated to an unprofessional expletive, which she assumed was because of the patient's lengthly medication list. It was fixed without a lot of damage to my bedroom and the knowledge that the fluid resistant mattress cover that was there for the cats had really come in handy for this. Despite seemingly to be fixed, it opened up again a few days later to a more minor extent, but now seems to be OK, although now there's a hole around the tenant's shower head that needs patching with water resistant material.

Then there was the flu....despite getting the shot faithfully every year, and getting the antibody building reaction that accompanies it, I always get the flu as well. It's much milder than it would have been, certainly, but must be considered inevitable being an asthmatic heart patient working with an elderly population. Several days of headache, fatigue and muscle pain, not that horrible and only missed one day of work. It very nicely attacked on a Thursday afternoon, which allowed me to stay home through Tuesday, then came to office for half day that Wednesday. With the warning of a couple staff members succumbing, I had done a grocery shopping Wednesday night, along with picking up Tamiflu, so in terms of being prepared it was all good.

The other major concern, along with most of America, has been finances. Between the times the apartment was vacant, plus the damaged caused by the ass still in jail (although about to be released), compounded by the loss of pay and extra Zerla boarding while supporting John & Martha in her final days, my income for 2010 was down by thousands and thousands of dollars. The rental income is where my tax money comes from, and the many taxes are due from now through July. I keep staring at my accounts as if all of a sudden something's going to jump out at me, or money will suddenly appear. So everything's been slashed, begging even more for on call time and keep hoping that the house will stop nit-picking at me long enough to save up more. It looks like the major sacrifice will be the family vacation in NH, which isn't the worst thing in the world. I can take vacation days and designate them for fun, staying around here at the many Philadelphia and suburban places that I'm always meaning to check out. Also a couple friends who would love for me to come and stay with them, including Bidge in southern Virginia (Williamsburg, where I've never toured) and Nana in Gettysburg (again, never toured). But when I see heart-wrenching stories of families losing their houses and living out of cars or cheap motel rooms it doesn't seem like I've got much to complain about.

Weight about same, doing yoga but not as consistently as I should, looking forward to warmer weather to resume walking outside. It was even easier to not use the treadmill when I couldn't put the laptop on the created desk, but honestly it wasn't getting much use before that. Need to turn an electric heater on out on the porch for an hour and it's boring staring at my neighbors.

Cats all OK, loving the radiators being on!

Mom rehabing well, still frustrated at swelling, but also admits she doesn't do as many of the exercises as she should.

Will try to right something more thought provoking later!

Thanks, if you are continuing to check, Laurie