Dec 9: Zerla & Martha updates

Zerla's saga continues: she has now had a total of 4 surgeries on her knees. The latest was just today, apparently she doesn't have enough soft tissues and fascia to take over while the bones heal, so she needed a 'minor' procedure today on both knees where the surgeon put in bands to hold the kneecaps in place. He says there should be dramatic improvement within 48 hours, but he's being very reserved about the timeframe. In 20 years of vet surgery he says he has never seen this in a cat before, although in some dogs. So Zerla has something very unusual that is taking four surgeries to correct. Could she BE more my cat?!

Martha came home from the hospital on Friday, after her third chemo of the Taxotere. Coming home was much more tiring than she had thought it would be. Having to physically cope with more space was tough; stairs and longer distances to get to everything seem easier in the mind than the body. John made a stellar decision to hire an agency to provide help for overnight help, Martha gets up at least twice a night with soaking sweats requiring changing of nightgowns, pillow cases and towels covering the bed. This means he has a solid 8 hours to sleep, which he sorely needs.

Saturday was a total reality check for John, Martha, Lyle and Emma. Everyone was insistent that they wanted Mom home, but Martha is much weaker than she was before the hospitalization, needing help with even minor things such as getting up and down from chairs/sofa/toilet, walking and the stairs. They were all shocked by the information that it takes about a week to recover from each day in the hospital--a nasty statistic I picked up somewhere. After visitors in the morning she was totally wiped, spending the rest of the day napping. Emma pitched in to help with her very needed shower, at which point Martha understood why a shower chair had been recommended. We used the commode instead, which we had brought home despite her objections. The commode was then relegated to being put over/around the toilet for help in her getting off/on the seat. This involved removal of the toilet seat, my expertise impressed Emma; she was then regaled with many stories of interesting rescues. The toilet seat had been on for at least 15 years and had a bugger of a screw/nut combo which took an hour to remove. My chest was screaming in pain after, but it was a great feeling to accomplish something; Darvocet and 10 hours of sleep gave me resolution.

Sunday was similar, it's an adjustment for all as they have never had any experience with severe illness before. While Martha came to Brigham for my thoracotomy, she didn't see me intubated and left after a few days. With the kids younger when I was sick, as well as being over three hours away, they didn't see me struggling with recovery. For those of us who are in health care or have been around sick people, these difficulties are known, but it is all new to the four of them as well as their families. As painful as it will be it is something that they all have to go through, to experience, in order to accept what will come over the next couple/few/several months.

Martha was very upset on finding out that when she was the most critical John had followed the doctor's advice and made her DNR. She has told us that she wants to be shocked, put on a ventilator and get dialysis if necessary. The heart-wrenching phrase which followed all of this was "I'm not ready to leave my kids." Is any mother, at any time, ready to desert her children?

In researching on-line it seems that Taxotere as a second-line treatment for metastatic non-small cell squamous lung cancer almost doubles survival rates. That being said, those numbers boil down to 4.6 months increasing to 7.5 months.

It's going to be a rough time for everyone.

Thanks to the many people who have expressed concern and are sending thoughts and prayers, Laurie