Dec 17: Zerla Out, Martha In

Zerla came home on Tues, 12/15. It's a mixed blessing. I love having my fuzzy sweet girl home, but she requires a lot of care. She still has an impressive number of sutures in on both rear legs; making her look even more pathetic is the mohawk stripe of fur down her back to her tail, then the shaved haunches with the stitches on either side. Plus the plastic collar that keeps her from getting to the stitches--a cone that fits over her head and is secured with a bright red collar, in an attempt to spruce her up a little. That has to come off for her to eat or drink, and she must be watched carefully while she grooms as she wants to lick at the sutures and tries to sneak down to them frequently. Her walking is painful to watch, on her toes and limping with both legs. The vet is pleased at how she is walking at this point, considering four surgeries. But the sutures have to stay in for at least another week, and it will take about four weeks after that for her to heal enough to be out with the other kitties. I'm trying to sit with her as much as possible, she makes it much easier by purring up at me with only a little bit of ear scratching.

The bill for her care is now up to $6,500. It just kept going up and up from the initial estimate. And an unrecognized therapy is a cat purring while being petted--it really is soothing. It's a huge amount of money, and means no new windows, but it is what it is.

Unfortunately, Martha went back into the hospital on Monday. Her white count is going up and up, which we hoped was from a sinus infection (treatable), but the oncologist told John today that it's the cancer growing so rapidly. Yesterday she was really bad, couldn't even speak a couple words together. Yet today she was out of bed and walking a little. It will be decided tomorrow if she is strong enough to get another chemo treatment. John understands that chemo is just palliative at this point, and she seems to get worse on the 'rest' week when it isn't given. The next goal is Emma's performance in 'Nutcracker' this weekend; she has the largest part she's ever had, dancing solos even. Martha desperately wants to be there, at least as much as Emma wants her there. John has promised Emma that they will do everything possible, but was wise enough to leave it at that.

My terror is that she will die in the days before or on Christmas. People who lost loved ones during the holidays are still traumatized 20, 30 years after. It will be so devastating to the kids as well as John to lose her at that time, on top of the obvious loss of a mother and wife. That's the time for ventilator, dialysis, etc. Honestly, if her heart stopped at 11:00 pm on Dec 25 Id want CPR done for 61 minutes just to delay date of death. But right now all we can do is take it day by day.

Fortunately, John's step-brother Fernando has come to help. He's currently unemployed, which has been a wonderful circumstance in timing from John's standpoint. Fernando is a very calm, even tempered chap who has been pitching in with cleaning, cooking, getting the kids off to school as well as helping with Martha. There's been a distinct relief in John's voice since he came last weekend. It allows him a little relief and down time, although he's stretched to the limit.

But it doesn't change the fact that the whole thing just plain sucks.

I'll write a seperate post on my current health, etc. Thanks for checking, Laurie