June 17: What I've been working on & Quick update

Working more hours the last week and this week. Checking account loves this, my body does not. Just exhausted. Things made worse by the problem at the nuclear plant that manufactures the material we use for the nuclear stress tests. They had some sort of meltdown--really. Schedule very weird.

For the last couple of months I was working on a special project. Did an entire service for my UU Fellowship on Illness & Spirituality. First time I've talked publicly about the emotional and spiritual aspects of things. I picked all the songs, the readings, plus the presentation/sermon. It was well received. If you are interested, go to: www.buxmontuu.org then click on "services" at the top of the page. Follow prompts to "past services" which will take you to podcasts. Mine was the June 7th one. It would be best to listen to the entire thing, as everything ties in together, so it's a total of 45 minutes.

Foot still painful, but in the sprain area. My suspicion is that the tendon/ligament damage was worse than thought. Using only a cane, but still painful by mid-afternoon.

Exhausted and must get to bed, will try to post over weekend.

Thanks for checking, Laurie

June 2: General updates

It's much later than I usually do this, so will try to be brief. But I'm not known for that! Just updates on major issues.

Foot/Ankle: Finally better. Spent most of the last three days without the boot. Still favoring it. Saw the ortho guy today and he is pleased with the progress, although agrees it's slow. The ankle where the sprain was is still tender, sometimes that hurts before the foot where the fractures are. My suspicion is that there was more tendon and ligament damage than they thought. That would be typical of me!

Martha: Went up to NY this weekend for Emma's confirmation and Lyle's recital. I am THRILLED to report that Martha looks much improved. I've never seen anyone look this much better with chemo, and she had just gotten another treatment on Thursday. The cough is gone, her voice isn't hoarse, she's gained a couple pounds back, her color is better, she has more energy. She gets another dose this week, and then a week of rest, then CT to see how the tumor is responding. If it is the same size or larger then she goes for the thoracotomy. If it has shrunk, then she gets another six week chemo cycle followed by the thoracotomy.

Fatigue: Not sure if I admitted how badly I'd been feeling recently. Really lousy. I didn't figure out why until the last couple weeks. The suite that I'm in almost all the time just recently got refurbished: new paint, new wallpaper, new carpets. It wasn't until I got congested and the asthma kicked in that I realized I was reacting to one of those new things. Saw an allergist today, getting work-up. Sounds like it will require a couple HEPA filter machines in the suite and the building owner being forced to clean out the ducts and ventilation system, which we know is disgusting. Bad news is that my asthma presents with coughing, which is rather painful. The back where the thoracotomy opens gets bad, the area below the mesh over the right lung is moving outward and it moves the gaping sternum around. All in all, not a lot of fun.

Bones: DEXA scan came back. I have osteopenia. That's the stage before osteoporosis. This isn't good in a woman my age who is pre-menopausal. It also explains why falling down only three stairs caused multiple stress fractures. It may also explain why the sternum never healed, either. Treatment debate is now going on, I'm hoping for the newest drug, which is a yearly IV injection--don't ask me how it works for a whole year. There is a strong family history of osteopenia and osteoporosis on my mother's side. I've always gone out of my way to take in a lot of calcium. The irony is that it's probably hit me early because of all the steroids, pills and inhaled, that I took over the years for my asthma, which was especially bad because I was in compensatory heart failure and no one knew. Lungs were already coping with too much fluid, so even a little asthma made them much worse.

In the last few days I've had to go back on the inhaled steroids, even knowing about the osteopenia. In the rock-paper-scissors of life, breathing beats bones.

Deneen's comments on 'Illness Purgatory' were appreciated, and I even went back and changed a few things, added a few lines, in response to her observations. I'm finding that other people's illness issues are awakening the memories in me, and the urge to help them by letting them know that they aren't alone in their reactions has been spurring me to write. That one was because of a woman in my office who didn't know she had major blockages in her heart or the artery to her left arm and is pretty shaken up by how close she was to dying. But all anyone says to her is "But your fine. Why aren't you happy? Nothing happened--what's your problem?" Hence the last post.

OK, it's almost midnight. I don't have to be in the office until about noon tomorrow, but still need to get to bed. At least the fatigue wasn't a problem with my heart--that's the good news! All goes back to the statement 'It's all relative...."

Thanks for checking in, Laurie