August 31: Briefly...

Still restricted from fingers, but I stopped wearing the splint on the ring finger Friday, took out the one stitch in that one today. Works fine. Middle finger seems healed, but movement restricted more by the swelling from the blood still collected. Better, but still a ways to go. Yucky yellow/green color still present, although much improved.

And guess what I found out on Friday? I actually CAN intubate using my right hand having sutures and being splinted!!

More later! Laurie

Aug 22: They were very nice in the ER....

I'd been procrastinating, kept meaning to post. I've been very tired with working the extra shifts, although it's helping out financially. It's been great being in the hospital a little, catching up with people and a change from the office, but it definitely tires me out more. When I get home it's all I can do to feed myself and the cats, do a couple minimal things and get ready for work the next day (gluten free = packing lunch every day). While on the whole I'm still feeling better than a few months ago, this has put me back to not doing much more than minimal functioning. Weekends are trying to catch up, resting up. So posting has gotten neglected. I was going to make it up by being particularly newsy, but....

Not quite sure how this happend, but I cut my right hand today. At gas station, getting out of car, fingers somehow got into the opening where the pin goes through when you close the door (Nader pin) and guess what? The edges of that are pretty sharp. Felt the skin ripping, lots of blood. Middle and ring finger. Across the middle joint on the middle finger, which is more of a problem. Controlled the bleeding, filled the tank (hey, I was already there!), drove myself to the hospital (only a block, fortunately) and announced myself to the ER. They didn't seem impressed by the words "cut" and "coumadin", but they didn't have many patients so it wasn't too long. Very nice and efficient PA stitched me up. Five over the joint on the ring finger, only one on the ring finger. Full thickness, but didn't hit tendons or bone. Have to wear splint for 12 days on middle finger so the joint doesn't move, only for a few days on the ring finger.

The PA warned me about the pain for the lidocaine injections before the stitching, so I really braced myself, because I remembered from years ago that it was pretty bad. But hardly any pain, didn't even flinch. She looks at me and says "Wow, you must have a really high threshold for pain." Well, it's all relative--the sternum was hurting way more by then.

I will admit that there were a few seconds when I felt like crying, not because it was so terrible by itself, but because it was one more thing to cope with. But then I started thinking that it could have been much worse, even a mm deeper would have been very bad. And it's the same finger as the knuckle I hurt a couple weeks ago, so having the splint on it decreases movement there, which should help it heal a little faster. And I can still use my thumb and index finger, so gripping is possible. Even wrote in charts (went into work from the ER), although with the thumb, index and pinky holding the pen and the two others splinted and sticking out at a strange angle it looked like a bad Edward Scissorhands imitation! And I got my INR drawn, so no trip needed on Tuesday. And now my tetanus is up-to-date. And just got Darvon instead of Darvocett, so when the Tylenol isn't working I can take that and not worry about too much Tylenol. And now I don't have to do any cleaning at all this weekend. AND I can give someone the finger and they won't know it!

Just changed the bandaid, tape and re-splinted. The joint and all around it is full of blood, squishy and a little gross looking. It's going to bruise all sorts of pretty colors--who needs rings?!

Yes, I will order the Medic Alert bracelet! Would have done it before, but they don't list how many characters you can put and then it means a phone call, and that makes it more difficult and .... But I did promise myself to do that this weekend while cooling my heels in the waiting room.

Woke this am with a little bruise on my right cheek which wasn't there last night. Maybe an exciting adventure during some astral-plane traveling?

Time to figure out how to wash my face with the left hand. Thanks for checking, Laurie

August 7: I'm supposed to be getting ready for bed....

Last week ended up being pretty busy. Yes, the shooting in Knoxville WAS directed at UUs. Oh, boy, we've hit the mainstream!! It was a stunning revelation that it was deliberate, and that someone would walk into a children's performance and open fire. And it would have been so much worse if not for the brave usher, Greg McKendry, who sacrificed himself to save others, as well as the other members who wrestled the shooter to the ground and, without continuing the violence, held him until police arrived. What I haven't mentioned before is that I've become one of the lay leaders for services, especially with our minister's sabbatical coming in October. The idea is to have some people trained to participate to help the service run smoothly and consistently. My first time "flying solo", meaning without assisting the minister, was to be August 3. In the rapid firing back and forth after the tragedy, I was asked to help lead a memorial service Wednesday, in addition to drastically revising the service scheduled for Sunday. Many hours going through books, picking out readings, chalice lightings, final words as well as writing my own. But it was theraputic for me, gave me an outlet.

RE: running again. You have no idea how much I miss being a medic. Really. And Joanne told me during last week's dinner that Wayne Murphy asked specifically if I could help with the Bucks Fall EMT course. Hummmm.... Realistically, I will never be on a rig again. Even though I'm feeling better, there's this long ridge down my sternum which isn't that stable. It wouldn't be safe for me to be in situations that can't be controlled with pretty significant physical limitations, also putting my crew at risk. I won't do that. Yes, teaching is a possibility, although I do that as a PA on a regular basis at three of the local university programs. If I was going to commit to something in EMS, I think it would be going back to CISD/CISM. I was with Mont Co's team for several years, having been drawn in during my time working at Building 50. And I have this psych degree. And I enjoyed doing it, as much as you can use that word about that whole situation.

G.R. and I seemed to have reached an understanding. I'm primarily in the office, so he doesn't visit. I am, however, known for my ability to run codes in the office and hospital, and frequently was the one to address patients and families regarding hospice and 'level of care' issues. I still maintain that Goddess/God/Spirits/G.R decided that I had a talent for handling that stuff and gave me lots of exposure. But it certainly took a lot of people an awfully long time to figure out that I was DISPATCHED to deal with dead/dying people, not causing the condition! Besides my friend Roger, I haven't dealt with it since my own 'staring into the abyss'. Maybe a career in hospice is a possibility....

Other events of the past week including my hot water heater going, although it streamed out at a reasonable pace instead of making a real mess and exploding all over the basement. And working four days a week the last two weeks has definitely let me know that I'm not ready for it regularly. I'm just exhausted, constantly. And I have the rest of August with working Fridays, and next week am going to have to work five days, although some will be half days. Mom's wrist is getting better and better, she just has an ace bandage and small splint on now. Oops...just remembered she had an appt today and I forgot to call. Office insane, because the 'office manager' not only let a huge number of staff take off this week, but then took off herself. So, those of us who are left are having to do more. But let me not deteriorate this into a conversation about the issues at work....

It's 9:30, all the usual places hurt, plus a headache, plus the right knuckle that I continue to bang--isn't that always the way? I've got to wash my hair and get to bed. Another fun day tomorrow!

Thanks for checking, Laurie

P.S. to J.T.: Yes, the knowledge that even a minor accident would lead to my being a trauma alert makes me glad that at least it won't be someone I know stripping me down! Damn, I keep forgetting to order that Medic Alert bracelet....