July 27: So many things to address....

So, I come home Friday night and there is an envelope from NCCPA (certifying body for PAs). They are fond of sending out a ridiculous amount of paperwork, so it was going to be an acknowledgement of receiving my test, etc, etc. Except the letter started with "CONGRATULATIONS!" Yes, in a plain white envelope with no fancy script, bells or whistles came the news that I'm a PA for another five years!! Safe until 2013. As I expected, I wasn't in the top 15%, but I wasn't in the bottom, either. And it's over. And I passed. This is good.

Yesterday (Saturday) I did more work with my upper body than I had in years--literally. There were a lot of branches that had grown out of the vines/trees/weeds that had been cut before. I went to Sears this week and got the stuff to put on that kills the branch from growing things again. So there I was, with my 2 foot long pruning shears, hacking away. While I may not have done it in time to save the Japanese Maple, it looks a lot better overall. Well, sort of. By the time I was finished cutting and putting the goo on the ends there was the sudden realization that I was near collapse. So, the cut, and now dead, branches are all over the patio. But hey, if they're dead they'll be easier to cope with. And such a sense of accomplishment.

Several people at my UU Fellowship have commented in the last month how incredible my color is. My friend Carol said today "You aren't turning that yucky shade of green anymore!" (Green is the nausea after the fatigue and headache start.) Since I started going there 4 years ago, after I had been diagnosed but before we knew the surgery would be too soon, they have never seen me healthy, relatively speaking about a life-long problem. They see me on a Sunday morning, when I'm nice and rested and before I've done errands for the day. People at work still see the pale and tired in the afternoon, so it's not as dramatic for them.

Today I battled for about 20 minutes to change a watch strap. This, unfortunately, aggravated my right knuckle, which started bleeding into the capsule again. It now looks and feels the way it did two weeks ago after it happened. Fortunately, typing doesn't seem to bother it, so no need for me to be brief :)

Lastly: Before I got sick I worked most weekends, usually Saturday night to Sunday night 24 hour shifts. One of the blessings of having to stop working as a paramedic was that it opened up my Sunday mornings to start going to the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship that I had been passing for years on Street Rd. It is a spiritual place that is perfect for me: no creed, no dogma, a place that encourages you to develop your own beliefs while respecting others struggling to find their path. A "free and responsible search for truth and meaning." It is very difficult to break away from the mainstream religions that most of us were raised with and say "This isn't working for me..." In a recent survey, only 0.3% of the US population identified themselves as UUs (which works out to about 340,000 people). So it was surprising to see our symbol, the lit chalice, on the news. It was more horrible to hear the reason why: that a man had walked into the sanctuary of the Knoxville, TN church and opened fire during the service. Yes, there have been a couple of shootings at churches, but there are a vast number of churches compared to UU Fellowships. This isn't the way you want your under-recognized faith to make the news.

Message: There is no truly safe sanctuary and you can never say "I love you" to the people you care for too often.

To me, the words of Anne Morrow Lindbergh offer the best summation of what comes after this world: "We are not snuffed out at death but absorbed into a greater flame." That's why I was never afraid to die.

Thanks for checking in, and as we say at the end of our services: Go in Peace. Laurie