June 17: The Announcement

As many of you are aware, I have not returned to work full time. I am constantly exhausted and frequently out of breath, despite little physical activity. Unfortunately, it has been justified.
The second repair to my mitral valve has not worked. The resting pressure in my lungs is now more than double normal and twice as bad as last year, dramatically worsening with even minimal exertion. Therefore, there is no other choice but to have a third heart surgery to replace the valve. While it is not definite, it will probably be a mechanical valve.
I knew something was wrong in January when I wasn’t improving. My local cardiologist immediately sent me back to Brigham where the inevitability of another surgery was confirmed February 28. Medications were switched and I lost weight to decrease the strain on my heart, but nothing made a difference. My cardiac catheterization last month proved that there was no choice, as both my lungs and heart have continued to worsen.
Before both previous surgeries the cardiologists and surgeons were very positive about the outcome. This time no one is being that optimistic. The extent of the permanent damage is not yet known. They do not expect me to ever return to work full time. This surgery is to keep things from further deterioration, possibly increasing my abilities by 25% in a “best case” scenario. This is part of what I have been coming to terms with in the last few months.
I have approached both prior major operations expecting to feel dramatically better, and the disappointment has been crushing. I have been unable to discuss this as I did before; I just can’t say “third heart surgery” without crying. Hearing “think positive” and “you’re going to be fine” trivializes the severity, both of what I have been through and what I am coping with now. I ask that you respect my feelings about those and related phrases. Everyone’s expectations have to be much lower this time, not out of pessimism, but being realistic.
My decision is to go on my family vacation in New Hampshire as planned, and then go from there to Boston. Surgery is scheduled for July 12 at Brigham & Women’s Hospital in Boston. Dr. Cohn will again be doing the surgery as he is the most qualified surgeon in both knowledge and experience; also having the best understanding of my abnormal anatomy. Obviously a third heart surgery in less than three years carries increased risks and complications.
My blog will once again be the major form of communication. I hope that you will check it and post comments. I also very much enjoy getting cards. Prayers and positive thoughts are gratefully accepted, as I do believe they make a difference and give me more strength.
Thanks to my wonderful bosses and the loyal friends and family who continue to provide care and support. For these people I am truly grateful and blessed.

Laurie