Jan 13: Didn't mean to leave you hanging....
Just had checked Michael's blog (he's doing fantastically well!), about to get ready for bed and checked here. Seems you are due the quick report....
Got the picture boards done Thursday night, except for the dates and all. Left later than planned on Friday because of the weather; KYW was just reeling off a list of accidents that morning and it wasn't worth the risk. I went straight to Martha's best friend Lisa's house, met up with her and two of her other closest friends. They loved the boards (six in all) and helped with identification. Went to house, some family there, all gone by 7 pm. The friends came over briefly, everyone was in bed by 10:30.
The service started at 1 pm Saturday, John got out the door fully dressed and in organizing mode about 9:30 with instructions to me to arrive with the kids by 11:30. In one of the only moments in history I was actually ready early and after a couple minor things were taken care of (Lyle needed something of his Mom's to have with him, Emma's skirt was having static cling issues with her pantyhose....) we arrived before the appointed time.
The service was wonderful, John did an outstanding job of conceptualizing and arranging things. There will be a site with the entire service posted, I'll let you know the address on the off-chance you want to see it. She already had a site when she was running for supervisor.
There were over 500 people there, without exaggerating. The church sits 390 and every pew was packed. The walls were lined with people at least 2 deep, the vestibule was full and a room behind the worship area usually used for coffee also had a lot of people, although only wired for sound. The reception line after went on and on and on. John and the kids held up incredibly well. There was an amazing long party at a local restaurant afterwards that was joyful and celebratory and sad all at once.
I had to leave the party and go back to the house for a rest, although I hated to miss anything. After an hour and a half I went back, cognizant that this was a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
Sunday John wanted to go to church, so while Lyle and Emma slept late we went back to the church for usual morning services, accompanied by a long-time friend of John's who had driven down from Vermont and slept at the house as well. In the afternoon there was a smaller impromptu party at the house before everyone started leaving. I swung by the friend's house to say good-bye to the 'girls' again before heading home, arriving about 9 pm, absolutely exhausted and spent.
Jane, John's sister who has lived in New Zealand for over 30 years now, has extended her stay, which makes John very happy. He and the kids are now returning to 'normal' activities, with the knowledge that a 'new normal' has to be established. It's remarkable how many times that phrase seems to be appropriate....
In addition to massive amounts of catching up on everything, my main focus is in finding another tenant. My current renter, Marilyn, has become a close friend in addition to being a model co-habitator of the house. It's hard to begrudge her leaving, because she has bought her own house, which is very nearby. Finding someone new will be difficult, especially someone very quiet. In a careful reading of craigslist regarding discriminatory postings it seems that I'm exempt from a lot of them because it's less than four units and I live on the premises. I'm just not allowed to say in the ad or on the phone 'no kids'.
I'll catch up on more spiritual stuff later. This experience with Martha has definitely put death and dying back in the forefront of my mind, as well as dealing with grief and change.
The only remaining issue directly affecting my health from this whole experience is the significant chest pain I still have after well-meaning people were too exuberant in a lot of hugging. I'm afraid there has been much more Tylenol, Advil and Darvocet use in the last few days.
Gotta get to bed, thanks for checking, Laurie
Got the picture boards done Thursday night, except for the dates and all. Left later than planned on Friday because of the weather; KYW was just reeling off a list of accidents that morning and it wasn't worth the risk. I went straight to Martha's best friend Lisa's house, met up with her and two of her other closest friends. They loved the boards (six in all) and helped with identification. Went to house, some family there, all gone by 7 pm. The friends came over briefly, everyone was in bed by 10:30.
The service started at 1 pm Saturday, John got out the door fully dressed and in organizing mode about 9:30 with instructions to me to arrive with the kids by 11:30. In one of the only moments in history I was actually ready early and after a couple minor things were taken care of (Lyle needed something of his Mom's to have with him, Emma's skirt was having static cling issues with her pantyhose....) we arrived before the appointed time.
The service was wonderful, John did an outstanding job of conceptualizing and arranging things. There will be a site with the entire service posted, I'll let you know the address on the off-chance you want to see it. She already had a site when she was running for supervisor.
There were over 500 people there, without exaggerating. The church sits 390 and every pew was packed. The walls were lined with people at least 2 deep, the vestibule was full and a room behind the worship area usually used for coffee also had a lot of people, although only wired for sound. The reception line after went on and on and on. John and the kids held up incredibly well. There was an amazing long party at a local restaurant afterwards that was joyful and celebratory and sad all at once.
I had to leave the party and go back to the house for a rest, although I hated to miss anything. After an hour and a half I went back, cognizant that this was a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
Sunday John wanted to go to church, so while Lyle and Emma slept late we went back to the church for usual morning services, accompanied by a long-time friend of John's who had driven down from Vermont and slept at the house as well. In the afternoon there was a smaller impromptu party at the house before everyone started leaving. I swung by the friend's house to say good-bye to the 'girls' again before heading home, arriving about 9 pm, absolutely exhausted and spent.
Jane, John's sister who has lived in New Zealand for over 30 years now, has extended her stay, which makes John very happy. He and the kids are now returning to 'normal' activities, with the knowledge that a 'new normal' has to be established. It's remarkable how many times that phrase seems to be appropriate....
In addition to massive amounts of catching up on everything, my main focus is in finding another tenant. My current renter, Marilyn, has become a close friend in addition to being a model co-habitator of the house. It's hard to begrudge her leaving, because she has bought her own house, which is very nearby. Finding someone new will be difficult, especially someone very quiet. In a careful reading of craigslist regarding discriminatory postings it seems that I'm exempt from a lot of them because it's less than four units and I live on the premises. I'm just not allowed to say in the ad or on the phone 'no kids'.
I'll catch up on more spiritual stuff later. This experience with Martha has definitely put death and dying back in the forefront of my mind, as well as dealing with grief and change.
The only remaining issue directly affecting my health from this whole experience is the significant chest pain I still have after well-meaning people were too exuberant in a lot of hugging. I'm afraid there has been much more Tylenol, Advil and Darvocet use in the last few days.
Gotta get to bed, thanks for checking, Laurie
posted by Laurie @ 10:30 PM
1 Comments:
At 11:53 PM,
Kevan said…
Laurie,
Sorry I haven't commented in a long time, usual hoildays, grandkids etc stuff. But having re read all of your postings over the past several weeks, just re-enforces the view of a great and loving friend. We rarely say this to others but I am very proud to list you in the friend column, you seemed to have done an outstanding job helping not only John, Lyle, and Emma, but also Martha and the entire extended family with a very difficult time, while dealing with your own issues. I must say that you have presented a very Christian presence to all involved. I hope you can take comfort in that.
On a seperate note:Any Sunday that you come up to the Bucks Fellowship and wouold like to get together for a quick lunch let me know, there is a very comfortable family atmosphere establishment right around the corner that I could meet you at.
May God and peace be with you.
Kevan
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