12/3: I finally saw it!

Well, lots of news (relatively speaking!). Testing new equipment at the office, so I volunteered for the echo part (why try it on someone normal when they have me?). The mitral valve looks a lot different: the really long front (anterior) part that was flipping over and blocking the flow of blood out is gone (sort of--keep reading). There is one view during the echo where the probe points up from the left ventricle and you can see the mitral valve (MV) opening and closing from below. So, the open time is when blood is flowing from the left atrium, the top part, into the left ventricle, the bottom part and then pumped out of the heart, to aorta and to the rest of the body. Usually the MV looks like a "fish mouth" opening and closing, sort of an oval shape. Mine is now a sideways 8, or infinity sign. This explains the description in the OR report when he said that he used the "double orifice technique". Two openings instead of one. The article he referred me to when I asked him did not explain it, and no cardiologist I asked knew, either. But as soon as you see it, it's obvious. I now understand why it isn't great to fix it this way, because you can't get as much blood through two smaller holes as you can through one big hole. That is why the surgery will give me improvement, but I will never be "normal". (I know, don't say it, I never was!) When I was staring at the screen, I felt like friends describe looking at their baby in utero: "Oh, so THAT'S the little thing that has been causing me to feel sick all the time?!" But, honestly, it makes me feel better to understand it so clearly now, and to know why I still have to take diuretics. And it was the only way that the long "tongue" that was blocking the blood could be controlled. In further news, I saw my cardiologist for the first time since the thoracotomy (I had seen him after the heart surgery). His first comment on looking at my chest, side and back was "You look like you were in a major knife fight!" Yeah, well, I accepted a long time ago that my career was not going to be bikini modeling. When I told him about the fatigue and sleeping problems, he assured me that was normal for this timeframe, especially with the two surgeries. Then I told him that I was hoping to feel well enough to be back to work full time Jan 1, and he smiled and said, "Well, it's good to have a goal." Hummm. Maybe not. At my next visit in two months I will have a chest X-ray to make sure all the fluid in the lining is gone (avoiding what happened to Bill Clinton) and another echo to see how things look. My left atrium is still large, and my lung pressures are still too high. There is a chance that both of those things could normalize, or they may stay the same or get worse. Only time will tell. There are other things brewing, so keep checking in! Thanks again, Laurie